


Betrayal

by swolfmoon



Series: Betrayal [1]
Category: Dragon Age
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-03
Updated: 2011-09-03
Packaged: 2017-10-23 09:22:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/248728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swolfmoon/pseuds/swolfmoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hawke had fallen in love with Fenris, but when their night together ended in pain, she found solace in Anders arms...he wanted to stay in her arms, but she had other plans, and they did not involve Anders. This story is about how Anders and Justice deal with Hawke's rejection.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Betrayal

“How could she _do_ this, to me of all people? She told me she _loved_ me, Varric…she told me…” Anders placed his face slowly into his hands as he propped his elbows on the battered tavern table in front of him. As he did so, the table swayed slightly in his direction, causing the various tankards and goblets scattered on the tabletop to slide a little closer to the dejected mage. It had been a week since they made love, _had sex,_ he corrected himself. After being excluded from any outing besides social, to which she had declined every invite to, it was clear he was being avoided by Hawke.

Anders felt the friendly and somewhat inebriated dwarf place a hand on his shoulder, and his first instinct was to fling it off in anger, but he resisted the urge. He was angry, that went without saying, but he was _not_ angry at Varric. Varric was just about the only person he felt like he could talk to about his problems; he knew that he would not get as receptive an audience from any of the other people he had grown to call his friends since they’d found him in his Darktown clinic all those years ago.

Anders peeked out from in between his fingers, looking over towards the bar where Isabela and Sebastian stood. It was Sebastian’s round, and Isabela had volunteered her services as drink-carrier simply so she could remove herself from the conversation Anders was having with Varric. Isabela had her own interests in Hawke, as well as Fenris, and she seemed very keen on keeping her opinions to herself, which he knew to be very unlike her at all.

“Come on, Blondie, try to cheer up. Here comes our drinks, and maybe we could talk more about your time back at Vigil’s Keep when you were at the Hero of Ferelden’s side.”

Anders “humphed” gently as he watched through his fingers as Sebastian and Isabela approached carrying the next round of beverages. He hoped they had remembered to get him a large goblet of whiskey; otherwise he was going to end up getting even more upset. With the way he was feeling, he knew exactly who would be at the receiving end of his wrath as well…considering Isabela was the only female in the group tonight, and it hadn’t been a man who had wronged him so.

“Drink up, boys!” Isabela smiled wide as she plopped the drinks down onto the table with a loud smack.

Anders head popped up from his hands at the noise and looked for the goblet with the murky brown liquid in it. When he didn’t see it, he turned his gaze up to Isabela who he was surprised to find staring back at him.

“Don’t think I forgot your whiskey, mister pouty-pants. I may not be the best when it comes to advice on love or relationships, but I can sure help you get hammered enough that you forget all your woes…at least until you wake up the next day hung-over.” Isabela smiled again, and handed him his goblet of whiskey. Anders took it gratefully, returning a considerably smaller version of the sultry pirate’s smile as well as a nod.

He was appreciative for the extra consideration Isabela seemed to be showing him, although he made sure his thoughts ended right there. He had helped her several times when she had stopped by his clinic seeking help for one disease or another that she had picked up from a late-night, alcohol-induced sexual tryst. He was not interested in her beyond her friendship, and he hoped she knew that and wasn’t planning on trying a different way of helping him forget his troubles. _She’d have mentioned it, if she had wanted it,_ he told himself.

“Right, now, Blondie here was just about to regale us with a story from his time spent under the service of the Hero of Fereldan, weren’t you Blondie?”

“I uh…well, I suppose…” Anders looked hard into the swirling depths of his goblet, avoiding the eyes of his tavern companions.

“Varric,” Sebastian started quietly from Anders’ other side, where he had sat with his goblet of wine, “it is clear that Anders would rather hear words of encouragement and advice from us regarding Hawke. I know that I would rather help him in this than hear another story about Fereldan, the Warden Commander, or anything else involving the last Blight.”

Anders heard Varric sigh noisily from his right, and instead of looking over at the dwarf, he returned his head to his palm, closing his eyes and knowing what a burden he was placing on his friends by putting them in this position. He had no choice, he was painfully aware of that. He didn’t _know_ anyone that he could call his friend outside of the group of people Hawke had introduced to him all those years ago.

“I’m sorry…” Anders spoke gently from behind his hands. He was distraught and he was about ready to call it a night. He was getting tired of feeling sorry for himself, and he was certainly tired of expecting more from his friends than he knew he deserved. What he needed to do was down the whiskey in front of him, and then he needed to go and confront Hawke. He couldn’t let this go on any longer. _How dare she make me feel this way? Who in the Maker’s name does she think she is, to hold this kind of power over my heart? She has **no** right._

Anders removed his face from his hands once more and, taking his goblet in both hands, he threw the whiskey to the back of his mouth and swallowed it all in one large gulp. A small amount of the harsh liquid trickled down from the corner of his mouth and lost itself in the stubble below. He pushed back from the table and rose to stand in front of his friends, and they watched silently. Isabela seemed to be watching him far more closely than the two men, and as she rose her tankard to mouth, she watched him through her heavy lashes, expectantly.

“Thank you for the drinks and the company. I think I’m going to head home for the night. I’ve waffled on about my problems enough for one evening, and that was without even mentioning the plight of mages!” Anders threw in the joke to show that he was fine, even when he was so far from fine he was close to tears. He forced himself to smile as his eyes travelled from Sebastian to Isabela, and then back to Varric.

“Well, Blondie, there’s always tomorrow night!” Varric said rising to his feet. He patted Anders gently on the arm as his farewell before sitting back down and returning rather hastily to his drink.

Sebastian looked up at Anders from his seat and offered a small smile.

“If you ever need to talk, Anders…” he began gently.

“I know where to find you.” Anders cut the man in front of him off, knowing exactly what he was going to say. The last thing he needed or wanted to hear right now was some rubbish from the Chant of Light, or to hear about how he can hear confession. Anders waited until he had moved away from the table and was moving towards the door before he rolled his eyes. He felt an arm loop itself through the crook of his elbow from behind him, as he felt Isabela sidle up next to him.

“Walk you out?” Isabela said cheerfully as she grinned up at him.

“Sure, Isabela, just uh…you know I’m not…I mean, I don’t want to…” Anders wanted to spit out what he was trying to say, but he was trying to be tactful and didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

“Don’t worry, sweetness…I’ve got my eyes on a much bigger prize tonight. I just thought I’d accompany you to the door, and then maybe outside the door…and then maybe walk with you to Hightown.”

“I don’t live in Hightown, Isabela.”

“I know you don’t, silly. Fenris however, does. Since I know you’re not going home, and are _actually_ going to see Hawke, I thought we could walk together. It’s late, and the chances of getting there safely go up a lot if we’re together instead of separate. Right?”

Anders sighed. Was he really that obvious? Had Varric and Sebastian not been fooled either, and were sat in the Hanged Man having a laugh at his pathetic situation?

“Fine, Isabela. Just…uh…just…keep your hands to yourself, alright?”

Isabela pulled her arm from his as they stepped out into the humid night air and grunted in compliance.

 

 *** * * * * * * * * * ***

 

“You know what you should do, don’t you?” Isabela’s voice rang out against the tall buildings that surrounded them on two sides and echoed back to assault Anders’ ears a second time. He was startled by her sudden question, but was thankful for it, as he had been lost completely in his own tortured thoughts.

“No, no I don’t. If I had, I wouldn’t have been sat in a tavern all night talking to you lot about it, drinking way more than I should.” He shook his head softly, instantly wishing he hadn’t. As he did the world began to spin slightly around him. He shouldn’t have had that last whiskey, but Maker help him, he had needed it.

“Listen Anders, Hawke is a hard nut to crack, trust me…I’ve tried. She has been through a _lot_ the past few years, and she is just looking for someone to love and take care of her. She thought that person was going to be Fenris, but then he ran off and left her feeling even more lost than before. She needed someone to help her block out the pain of losing someone she thought she could trust, and she chose you.”

“Well doesn’t that just make it all better?” he muttered sarcastically. “If she didn’t _want_ me, she should have said so from the beginning. Instead, she told me everything I wanted to hear just to get me in bed with her! She should have just told me the _truth_!” Anders tried to keep the anger out of his voice, but it flowed through like hot lava pouring from his lips.

Isabela stopped walking for a moment and placed a hand on Anders’ forearm, an obvious move to try and calm him. He brushed her off and continued his forced march toward Hightown without looking back to see if she had continued to follow.

“Anders, she needed you, she just didn’t need you the way you needed her. Would you have rather she took any random stranger to her bed?” Her voice seemed further away, but as she spoke he could hear her feet slapping on the ground below them as she rushed to catch up.

“I would rather she take a stranger to bed if that’s all it is, is a…a one night tryst. They mean nothing to either party, no one gets hurt.”

“Well, sometimes someone gets hurt…” Isabela offered quietly as she took her place back by his side.

“Well, I didn’t deserve to be that person. What she did, it was…it was completely iniquitous.”

“Oooh, ‘iniquitous’…that’s a good word. Have you been spending time with Sebastian? Sounds like something he’d say.” Anders listened as she repeated the word again under her breath, seeming to enjoy the way it rolled off her tongue.

“I am extremely well-educated, Isabela,” he said hurtfully, “we did more than just study magic in the Circle.”

“Yes but…but you escaped from the Circle a bunch of times, didn’t you? I guessed you would have been too busy devising escape routes and hatching plans on getting out than paying attention in class.” Isabela chuckled lightly at the thought she had painted, and Anders couldn’t help but smile too despite his anger. She was right, he _had_ spent a lot of time planning his escapes, but he also was exceptionally good at absorbing things he heard. It had been one of his saving graces when it came to passing his Harrowing.

“You make a good point,” Anders said, softer this time. Again, he was afraid that he was taking out his anger and frustration on Isabela, who certainly had done nothing recently to warrant it, besides being female and in his company. He echoed her gentle chuckle as they moved up the stairs leading from Lowtown to Hightown.

 

 *** * * * * * * * * ***

 

“So, anyway…you never did let me tell you what you should do about Hawke.” Isabela placed her daggers behind her back and looked down at the body in front of her. The raider had jumped out of the darkness as they entered Hightown, and was accompanied by a few members of the Invisible Sister organization. Anders and Isabela had dispatched them easily enough, but as Isabela turned her attention to the new tear she had in her undershirt, she was irritated. She had just stolen that shirt, and now she was going to have to find another one!

“Well, I remember you saying something about nut-cracking, but then we got sidetracked I think. Then these idiots decided to try and jump us.” Anders motioned to the corpse lying on the ground at his feet with his staff, and then nudged it slightly with the tip of his boot.

“She is a hard nut to crack, though! It does make me wonder if the reason Fenris fled after they bumped uglies was because of how intimidating she can be. I am not sure, but I don’t think Fenris has that much experience with women. Hawke might even have been his-“

“Shut up! Don’t even…just don’t say that… _creature_ ’s name right now. It’s hard enough knowing that I was a replacement for what she lost when he ran out on her, but to know that he lied in order to gain access to her bed...” Anders looked away from the pirate and back down at the corpse in front of him.

“Lied about what? Being a virgin? How would you know if he…wait, have you and he-” Anders balked at her question and watched in the moonlight as a large grin began to overtake her face. He paused for a moment, realizing that he had not imagined what it would be like to lay with that savage beast, and quickly shook away any such thoughts before they took hold. He looked down, and was hoping Isabela wouldn't notice the blush that had creeped up his neck and splayed across his face.

“I would… __,” he paused, taking a deep breath and pushing the thoughts further out of his mind. “He was the slave of a Tevinter Magister, Isabela. _He was no virgin_.” The words dripped from his mouth thick and venomous. Had Fenris lied to Hawke about her being his first lover? Was she truly that naïve about how the world worked? The smile faded as quickly as it had appeared from Isabela’s face, and she just stared at Anders.

“She was.“ Isabela said before she could stop herself, and as the words left her mouth, she clapped a hand over it as if doing so would erase the words from having been said.

“ ** _WHAT_**?!”

“Oh…uh. Yes, well…it’s just a rumor, I’m sure. Something Varric made up to make Hawke seem like a better hero or some such silliness. Anders, stop.” Isabela watched as the man in front of her pulled his robe closer to his body and placed his staff back in it’s holder at his back. Without a word, she watched as he turned sharply on his heels and began to walk away from her towards Hawke’s estate. _Shit, Isabela, you’ve really put your foot in it this time, haven’t you?!_ She thought to herself as she broke into a small sprint to catch up with the fleeing mage.

“Anders! Don’t you want to hear my advice?!” She knew it was a long-shot now that she’d gone and pissed him off, and he probably didn’t want to hear anything else she had to say for now. She needed to speak her piece, she needed to keep him talking so she could calm him down. She needed to give Varric and Sebastian time to catch up with them.

“No, I’m done talking to you.” He called over his shoulder, “go find your wild dog and shack up for the night. I have more important things to do than to listen to the advice of a lousy pirate turned whore.”

The insult caused Isabela to rush towards him as she pulled her daggers out from behind her back in one fluid motion. She came up behind Anders so quickly that he barely had time to react, but managed to pull his staff from behind his back as she whipped him around to face her. She pressed her main-handed weapon against his jugular, holding her off-hand weapon up at her eye-level, and watched as his eyes grew wide momentarily.

“I am _not_ a lousy pirate!” Isabela shouted in his face. Anders couldn’t help it, but he found himself smiling at her outburst. He tried to stop it as he felt it creeping across his face, mainly because he did not want to lose his head, but he failed, miserably. As the smile grew he found himself laughing quietly, trying his hardest not to move against the blade at his neck.

“It’s not _funny_!” Isabela said forcefully, pushing her dagger little harder against the laughing mage’s neck and moving the eye-level blade away from her face and closer to his smiling face.

“You get mad that I called you a lousy pirate but say nothing about me calling you a whore,” Anders said between small giggles as he watched the blade grow closer to his eye.

“Well…I…” Isabela relaxed slightly and lowered her blades to her sides as she realized that Anders had every right to laugh. She found herself start to smile as she placed her blades once again in their holders.

“Now, if you were done contemplating my murder…maybe I could go find Hawke and you could go find your…Fenris?” He stopped himself from insulting Fenris further. Just thinking of the elf’s name made him cringe and his grip tighten on his staff, but he didn’t want Isabela to see him leave for Hawke’s infuriated.

“Wait, Anders. Just let me say what I wanted to say, and then I’ll leave you alone. Promise.”

Anders sighed as he leaned against his staff and waited for the pirate’s words of wisdom. _This should be good,_ he thought.

“Okay…good…right. Well, I just think that you should go tell Hawke how you feel, again. Maybe you just caught her off guard, and she panicked? It’s happened to most women at one time or another. Go, talk to her, tell her how you feel, and then go home. You can’t force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do, we all know that.”

“That’s your advice? That’s exactly what I was going to do, except I was going to refuse to leave until she gave me a straight answer, or…” Anders voice trailed off, knowing without even speaking the next few words that they would never come true. His wish above anything else was that this night, after pouring his heart out to Hawke, she would embrace him and take him back.

“Exactly? That’s not exactly. That’s you being a stubborn man and putting Hawke in an unfair position. Were you just going to refuse to leave until she decided to invite you back into her bed?”

Anders looked away from Isabela and down towards his feet. The blush creeping up from his neck threatened to take over the whole of his face, and he wasn’t sure how good the pirate’s eyes were. The last thing he wanted was to validate completely everything she had just said. He remained quiet as she continued to speak.

“I’m not sure this is such a good idea, Anders. You had such a dark look in your eyes when you went to leave the Hanged Man. It scared Sebastian and caused Varric to tell me to walk with you.”

“They were afraid I’d do something to myself?” Anders asked incredulously, looking back up to find Isabela’s forehead lined with concern as she looked back.

“They were afraid you might…that Justice might…do something to Hawke…” Isabela let the words fall quietly out of her mouth, and she looked away from Anders, the admission that she’d been sent to babysit the mage and try to calm him down was making it impossible to meet his eyes.

“Are you _serious_? Hawke would snap me in two before I even got near her! What did they think I was going to do, use my powers on her? Unleash Justice on her? Hurt her? **_Kill_** _her_?” Anders was yelling now, moving closer to Isabela just as she took a couple panicked steps away from him. The way he said ‘ _kill her_ ’ made Isabela’s skin crawl. She had seen many men throughout her life act just as he was acting now, and had been on the receiving end of more of their temper-tantrums than she cared to recall. She became instantly sure that if she let Anders leave her sight and go to Hawke’s, that someone was going to get hurt…badly. She was also fairly certain that if she tried to stop him from going to Hawke’s alone, that she was going to get hurt.

“Anders, I’m just trying to help you, to help you and Hawke. We’re just trying to keep everyone safe!”

“You will not keep me from her,” Anders spoke in a low growl that Isabela had never heard from the mage before. His words caused a shiver to accompany the crawling sensation his previous words had caused. She watched him closely, while still backing away from the enraged man before her. Her palms itched to have the hilts of her daggers pressed against them, but she did not want to out and out provoke Anders. She knew how powerful he was on his own, but if she attacked first then chances were high she would end up causing Anders’ spirit of Justice to come forward and attack her. She was certain that she would not survive a one on one encounter with a possessed mage of his ability.

“Calm down, Anders, and let’s talk about this. Just…listen, please! We’re friends, and you must be able to see that we’re just concerned for you! We just want to help you!” Isabela tried to keep the imploring tone from her voice, but it was impossible. She was scared, and she was angry, and she was reduced to appealing to Anders’ sense of camaraderie in order to stave off an all-out attack, right here in the center of Hightown.

“I will _not_ calm down! I was used and then tossed aside like yesterday’s mystery stew! It was cruel and I will not stand idly by while my ‘ _friends´_ think me a vengeful monster simply for being hurt! I will go and see her, with or without yours, or **anyone else’s permission.** **Not even the Maker Himself shall stop me**!” As the last few words tumbled out of his mouth, Isabela watched as the familiar blue flame of Anders’ spirit passenger creep into his eyes, until it had fully replaced Anders’ amber eyes with it’s own.

Isabela remained quiet and simply stared for a long moment before making her mind up and drawing her daggers once more from behind her back. She held them in front of her defensively as she crouched down into her battle stance and waited for the spirit-driven mage to make his move. She watched for what seemed like an eternity, when suddenly as if he had awoken from a deep sleep, she saw Anders jerk to life, still being controlled by his spirit of Justice. She watched as his lips moved slowly, and his hand flicked out towards her.

She opened her mouth as he motioned again towards her, only as his hand gestured the second time, she found that she was frozen to the spot. She couldn’t blink, couldn’t breathe. It was as if her entire body had been encased in stone, and she looked helplessly at Anders as the spell held her in place.

She watched in horror as he gestured towards her again, this time with both hands, one which still had a strong grip on his staff. She was unable to brace herself for the impact as she watched a large stone boulder hurtle towards her. When it hit, she felt like she’d been tackled by three Qunari all at once. As she flew backwards she realized that what air she had, had been knocked out of her. The spell that had held her in place seemed to have been broken when the spell to knock her back hit, but she was out of breath and could not seem to catch it.

She moved up onto all fours, her head hanging down towards the ground as she tried desperately to inhale and exhale without coughing or wanting to clutch her chest. She didn’t want to give that bastard the satisfaction, though it was hard to try and hide her pain and struggles. She wanted to look up at her possessed friend, to beg for him to stop, to realize what he was doing, when she heard the soft swish of his robe as he stalked his way towards her. He stopped as he stood above her, and for a moment Isabela wondered if Anders had managed to take back control from the spirit and he had come over to help her. That fantasy was broken when she felt his hand grab ahold roughly to the hair at the back of her head, as she was yanked to her feet.

Isabela swayed slightly as she looked into the face of the man before her, unable to avoid looking into the burning blue of his eyes. She knew now, looking into the spirit’s eyes that it was no longer a spirit but in fact a demon. It may have been a spirit when it first merged with Anders, but she recalled a conversation she had had with Anders late one night at the Hanged Man.

 _“So you never go into detail about how you and Justice got…together?” Isabela struggled not to slur her speech, but she knew she was done for, for tonight anyway._

 _“Oh? I thought everyone knew now. I’m sure I heard some random group of women discussing it outside my clinic just the other day. Anyway, Justice had been sucked into our world from the Fade and ended up possessing the body of a fallen Grey Warden.”_

 _“Okay…so, how did he get from a reanimated corpse to walking around in your feathery robes?” She leaned in towards him, knowing full well that her cleavage was in full view, and she smiled when she noticed that he actually took the bait and had himself a small look. She smiled wide as she watched him look away, blushing._

 _“Well, he and the Warden Commander didn’t agree on her decision to want to keep the Architect alive, so he challenged her. He attacked her, we defended her, and the body he inhabited was cut down. After we dealt with the Mother, we left the caverns…or at least they did. I held back, wanting to see if Justice had travelled back to the Fade upon his host’s…ah…decapitation.”_

 _“Curiosity killed the cat, Anders.” Varric pitched in, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips._

 _“You’re telling me like I don’t know!” Anders laughed loudly before continuing, “I approached, and I could hear him…he was talking to me from the corpse. It wasn’t anything crazy like they eyes and mouth of the decapitated head moving around, but I could hear him speaking to me, and the voice seemed to be coming from the body on the ground.”_

 _“This is fascinating. I had no idea that spirits could get stuck on this plane, even without a body to inhabit.” Sebastian had turned his attention from watching Hawke standing at the bar with Fenris to the conversation at the table._

 _“Indeed, I had no idea either. It was scary, but the things he was saying to me…he told me that he could help me save all the mages in Thedas. He told me that if I allowed him to enter my body, he would stop at nothing to ensure that I was able to finally liberate the mages that he saw so much injustice over.”_

 _“But…I’m confused,” Merrill spoke quietly from her little corner of the table. She toyed with the edge of her cup and looked off into the vacant space around her as she spoke next. “You told Hawke that it isn’t your friend Justice anymore, and that he has become a force of Vengeance. Does that mean it’s turned from a spirit into a demon?”_

 _“No! Justice is no demon! He told me that he could never become a demon because…well, because…” Before he even finished he sentence, he knew how ridiculous the rest of it was going to sound, but he took a deep breath and continued, “he told me that demons are spirits that have been perverted by their desires, and that he had no such desires.”_

 _“Well, if Justice said it, then it must be true.” Hawke said sarcastically as she and Fenris approached the table._

Justice had given in to his desire to grant freedom for oppressed mages, the world over. That, compounded with Anders’ admitted fury at how mages are treated, equaled potentially a new kind of demon no one had ever heard of…but a demon nonetheless. Isabela’s hands flew up to her hair, trying to take some of the pressure off her scalp from his grasp.

“Get _off of me_!” Isabela screamed as she lashed out to try and punch Anders’ face. It was no use, the demon was too fast, too strong, and simply batted her arm away as one would a fly.

“ **You will not keep me from disciplining her for her insult and injustice**.”

Suddenly, Anders' arm moved downwards with great speed, pushing Isabela’s head towards the ground with terrifying swiftness. She tried to move her hands out in front of her in order to soften the blow, but she was no quick enough. Isabela’s head hit the ground with severe force, causing her to lose consciousness almost instantly.

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place about a week after Hawke and Anders have sex in the game. Hawke dumped Anders directly afterwards (because she's still in love with Fenris), and the thing that makes this AU is that Hawke and Fenris kiss and make up a lot quicker here than they do in the game.


End file.
